wwjc (what would Jesus curse) Christmas 2011

There’s that passage in Mark’s Gospel (ch 11) where Jesus curses the fig tree for not bearing fruit (even though it’s not the season for figs) and the tree withers and dies.  I know that there’s something else being communicated there than what’s on the surface, but that passage came rolling back around tonight.

If Jesus were walking around in a physical body today, I have a feeling that he might just lower the boom on Christmas lights.  You know, those sparkly wonders, twinkling on your neighbor’s gutters.  I love ’em when they work, but today I found myself pushed to the brink of exasperation.

I have 3 strands of icicle lights on the house.  They all worked before I hung them.  Something went awry post-hanging, apparently (gremlins?), for, lo, there was a 4-foot section of lights not doing their thang.

I did what any rational person would do.  Checked the bulbs, unplugged and replugged, jiggled the wires…nothing.  That sent me on a search for the spare bulbs.  Nada.  Gremlins?  So it was off to WalMart.  I’d read about a magical light bulb tester that would identify the guilty party.  I planned to snag the tester and some spare bulbs.  Not happening.  I settled for buying a new strand, just like the ones hanging.

Of course, I could have purchased the new fangled ones, the “cool light” strand that enables you to connect 15 strands together.  But I figured I’d stick with the old school style, since that’s what’s already hanging.  Plus the new ones were 3x the price.

Got ’em home, plugged ’em in to check for continuity (check) then ascended the ladder to the roof.  Let the record show that it was raining/snowing, and that my hands do not like cold weather.  Spent about 30 minutes on the roof untangling and trying to get the new lights to relax, hang straight.  Unclipped the old lights, subbed the new strand in, plugged the whole thing in and…

wait for it

there’s the same 4-foot section of absentee lights.

If I knew how to insert the disgruntled emoticon, you’d see it here.  Let the record show that I was a little jacked up.  Gremlins.

I do have the spare bulbs for this new set.  Question:  Do I spend time on the ladder in the cold trying to find the culprit, or do I pull the lights off and take ’em back to Wallymart?  Or do I let it go and live with the 4-foot strand of evil on my house?

What would Jesus do?  I’m fairly certain that he’d curse the non-fruitful light strand, and tomorrow morning my gutters would be withered.  But that’s not real Christmassy either, is it?