eat the frog

I don’t know where I first heard it, but the wisdom is potent:  If you have to eat a frog, don’t sit and look at it too  long.  And if you have to eat two frogs, eat the uglier one first.

This has been a week of growth for me in the area of conflict resolution.  I hate conflict and confrontation.  My hands start to shake, my tummy gets all rumbly.  I can literally feel the heat/blood rushing into my face.  I have a hard time thinking coherently, and it’s difficult for me to separate the conflict from a personal attack.

You may be one of those weird people who love to argue; I am not.  I’d much rather ignore the problem, sweep it under the rug and walk over the lump until it’s part of the landscape.  The only problem with that is that it’s not how Jesus calls his followers to live (and that’s important to me.)  My family never really argued, so when a disagreement rises, I struggle to handle the conflict well.  But I am committed to living differently!

So this has been a week of difficult conversations, of apologizing, of explaining and asking for clarification.  I am sure that there are more of these conversations to be had, but I have to tell you, it feels pretty good.  Dealing with conflict in healthy ways has got to be better for me than stuffing the negative emotions down, guessing how the other person is feeling, and imagining what they’re thinking and feeling.  It’s been difficult, but good.

How adept are you at handling conflict?  If we’re going to live out the call to have no walls between us (that’s part of Calvary’s DNA) then we have to push through the uncomfortableness (is that even a word), showing no tolerance for unreconciled relationships.

The guidelines are pretty simple:  If you have been offended, you are responsible to take that offense to the one who hurt you.  If you know that you’ve offended someone, you are responsible to go to the person you hurt.  The goal is reconciliation, and that’s impossible if there’s no communication.  Mix in humility, a willingness to change, a heart-felt desire to understand the other person…sounds pretty easy, doesn’t it?

Well, that’s what I’m trying to practice anyway.  Frogs for breakfast…can I mix that into an omelet?