there’s a monster in our house

I’m not sure when it arrived, but I hear it every night.  Where it goes during the day, I have no idea.  Perhaps he (and I’m speculating about gender–do monsters even have gender?) has a day job.  But when the night closes in I can hear him prowling about in our pipes, almost like that giant snake in Harry Potter, only different.  Unless this form of snake language (writing parseltongue might make me sound bookish & nerdy, right?) sounds more like air in the hot water heating pipes than the creepy hissy-tongue speaking that Harry did.

Yes, I know the solution.  I looked it up on the internets, and the simple fix is to bleed the lines of the radiators.  But that would involve finding a screwdriver, moving a lot of furniture to get to the bleed valves in every room, mopping up the water that’s spewed all over creation, and the putting the furniture back.  That’s a lot of work.

It appears that the problem is here to stay.  I thought about praying for God to take the air out of the system, but I don’t know if that’s realistic.  Does God do that kind of thing?  That wasn’t covered in the classes I took in college…

OK, just kidding about that.  I’ll simply have to roll up my sleeves, arm myself with a screwdriver and a few old towels and get to work. Surprisingly, none of the children in the house have complained about the noise, which is actually quite loud. I wonder if they are past the point of being scared of creepy noises in the night…