on turning 43

What is 43 supposed to feel like, anyway?  I got a lot of birthday well-wishes from folks far and wide over the weekend.  They sang to me during the announcements Sunday morning at church, and Mike Leach filled the screens with some sweet pictures from my past.  Kim and the kids bought me some new running shoes, and Sadie got me a magnet shaped like a climbing shoe, complete with an open invitation to take her climbing.  I spent a good chunk of Saturday in a kayak, taking part in my first-ever kayak race.  I got to hang out with my buddies Andy and Paul (and Paulie’s lady friend Kari), which was pretty splendid…

I spent a little time looking back over the past year today.  We adopted Annabelle in January, and welcomed Josie to the fam in October.  I took Lilly to the DR in June, and Levi went with me a couple of weeks ago.  God continues to draw our hearts there.  Kim and I celebrated 21 wonderful years of marriage in June.  I have been part of Calvary and State College for more than 12 years now.  I am more enthused, more on board, more excited about what God is doing in the Centre Region than I was 12 years ago.  Multiple gatherings, developing leaders, Dan’s preaching, worshiping with tons of college students, families growing…

I’m not sure what 43 is supposed to feel like.  It’s somewhere near the middle of life, I suppose.  I find myself wondering if I’ve accomplished much, if I’m on track, and what God has planned for me over the next stretch.  Have I missed the mark, taken wrong turns?  What’s coming down the road?  What does my life say about who I am, and who God is?  What does God want for me?

I have examined my passions and pursuits, trying to gain some wisdom about how God has wired me, how he has shaped me.  Have I learned the lessons that God has been trying to teach me?  Is my life totally submitted to God?  Am I growing and maturing, walking in the Spirit?  Have I been faithful?

To be honest, my heart and mind are kind of swirling as I try to sort it all out.  I have more questions than answers at this point.  But I know a few things:

1. I am loved.

2. God is faithful, and can be trusted. And is still working on me.

3. I have been blessed.

4. I’m nowhere near done learning.

That’s certainly not the extent of what I know.  Trust me, I’m a veritable fount of trivial knowledge.  But those seem to be the big things, at this point.

Check back tomorrow.  I may have learned something new, or you may just hear about the places that a foot massage can take you!