I remind myself

There’s a side of me that I’m not fond of.  I don’t like this part of me fiercely.  More than my disdain for the DH, the hot dog-to-bun discrepancy, and the oft-out-of-tune B string.  Combined.

I have a tendency to gloom.

Not sure where it comes from, what triggers it, or why it doesn’t go away.  I’ve been to see folks for prayer, met a counselor, and talked with my best friend.  Kim has tried everything in her arsenal to help me snap out of it.  I’ve prayed and read and thought and journaled and hoped and cried.

It used to be more predictable, but lately it’s been random, sporadic, and uneven.  I can be sailing along just fine, or even climbing my way out of the hole when an innocuous comment from someone will strike me wrong.  All of sudden, I’m back down in the muck.

Muck

As far as I know, the only defense I have is the redemptive work that Jesus has done in me, for me.  The TRUTH is what God says about me; my feelings may not line up with what God says.  That leaves me with a dilemma.  You see, I know what God says about me.  I know it.  I believe it.  I desperately want that to be my reality, my experience.  But that is not always the story-line that runs through my mind.  Lately I find my subconscious streaming a line of discouraging, defeating, depressing thoughts.  Lies on a loop.

The only way to fight lies is with truth.  Drag them out in the light, soak them in the truth of God, and expose them for what they are.  I have to stand on who God is, what he’s done to redeem me, to rescue me, to change me.  He is the authority.  I gladly submit to his Lordship, to his declaration.

I remind myself of all that you’ve done
of the life I have because of your Son…

love this