No, this is not an anatomy lesson. I’m not going there. This is about a stunning difference between Isaac and our other new additions to the Team.
Isaac started school last Friday. When he walked in the door Monday, Kim asked him how his day went. He told her (through Josie) that he had a great day, and that he’d made lots of new friends. Now that’s just funny. The kid doesn’t speak a lick of English, just landed in America a few days ago, got dropped into a new school, and claims to have lots of friends after 2 days of school.
Meanwhile, Annabelle and Josie still struggle to find friends. I asked Josie about her friends at school while we were driving somewhere the other day. “Not yet, Dad. I’m still just following Lilly around.”
My heart broke for her. She didn’t say it with sadness, though. Her head was up and she was smiling, as though she knows it’s just a matter of time.
Is there a difference between boys and girls when it comes to making friends, or does it come down to personality types? I’ve noticed that the “friend problem” isn’t limited to our adopted children. Levi has always had friends; Lilly had a hard time for years. Sadie’s had good buddies every year, while Annabelle seems pretty content to hang with family.
Do boys (Levi and Isaac) count general acquaintances as friends, like we all seem to do on facebook? Are Josie (and Lilly and Annabelle) setting their expectations too high, or are they being realistic?
As we talked about it around the table, Kim and I had to agree that while there are lots of people that we call “friends,” there are very few people who truly know us, who go past the surface level. Like most folks (I imagine) our relationships seem to be a mile wide and an inch deep.
I’m glad that Isaac is adjusting well, that he’s making friends and finding a home here. And I know that Josie and Annabelle aren’t pining away in their rooms, crying themselves to sleep every night because of an empty social calendar. But I am asking God to give my kids a good friend, someone who will be loyal to them, someone who loves and appreciates them for who they are, someone who will encourage them and shape them and help them grow.
We all need someone in our lives to tell us the truth, to love and challenge and encourage us.
Who is your friend?
1 Comment
Matt · November 16, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Prov 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Is not Jesus that friend? And with him we can be real and honest with many others…being a picture of Jesus. And, Stac – you’re a great friend!