know thyself, or myself

Posted on June 6, 2013 by stacy

I mentioned that I’d share some of the learnings from our/my interaction with Terry Walling. He was in town Saturday to share with a large group of leaders from all of Calvary’s worship gatherings, and he stayed through Tuesday, when he met with Calvary’s staff plus a few other local leaders. I got to spend a few hours with him one-on-one Monday afternoon.

Uh-may-zing.

I am sure that I’ve heard some of the principles that he shared at some point in my life. What seems to be life-giving and ground-breaking to me may be old news to you. But like a spelunker stumbling across a flashlight, I found Terry’s thoughts and teaching to be just what I needed in the moment.

The big takeaway from Saturday revolves around the 4 roles that a leader can carry. He listed them as Pioneer, Developer, Maximizer, and Re-Pioneer. Terry stated that some leaders have a mix of 2 adjoining roles, but seldom carry 3 of the roles. This info wasn’t new, but the application hit me differently than ever before.

For most of my life I’ve thought of myself as a Developer. But as I look back on more than 20 years of ministry, most of the successes have been in the Pioneer/Re-Pioneer realm. That’s a biggie for me. I’ve been pretty good at getting something started or re-tooling something that’s struggled. And I’ve struggled in a lot of places to take things to “that next level.” It’s not that I don’t see what changes or tweaks or improvements need to be made; I simply have difficulty getting where I want to go.

Turns out I need to find Developers/Maximizers to hand things off to when I get to the end of my capacity. I’ve been blessed to have some fantabulous Developers in my life over the years. Chief among those people is my lovely wife Kim. She has been the “behind-the-scenes” architect for most of the teams that have functioned well, the family that has grown exponentially, and the ministries that have had positive influence on people for 20+ years.

I’ve got more to share (Monday was a great day for me), but this is getting lengthy, so I’ll close. I may re-visit this another day soon, but here’s my parting thought:

I need to look at life like a race: not a sprint, not a marathon, but a relay. I’m a pretty good starter. I need to be on a team with others who will take things to the next level.

If you’re looking for some great leadership development coaching or resources, check out Terry’s site. He is making a difference in my life, that’s for sure.

pickin up what I’m layin down

Posted on June 6, 2013 by stacy

Today was a scrambly day. It’s the end of the school year, and a few days away from the start of summer, which coincides with a little vacation for Team Sublett. Yep, the big white van is headed to the beach, courtesy of a fabulous family who has decided to bless us by letting us invade their domicile while they are away. So in addition to last minute study sessions and projects (seriously?) an additional day of work for Kim and a full day of people and meetings and lifegroup and orthodontist…Kim decided that she’d take Josie and Annabelle for haircuts. Because we had extra time in the day…

The girls had been talking about getting their hair cut for a while. Annabelle heard about Locks of Love and was certain that she wanted to donate her hair. Josie was a little less sure, but when they got to the salon she decided that she’d be happy with shorter hair, especially if her hair could do something good for someone else.

I love the fact that the girls are embracing a lifestyle that leads them to look for ways to serve and bless others. I think that as parents we always wonder if what we’re trying to instill in our kids is actually taking root. I pray that the good stuff sticks…

Isaac wanted you to know that he got a haircut too, and that his locks were lovingly donated to the woodland creatures and needy birds who live in the bushes just off our driveway.

is being cute enough?

Posted on May 14, 2013 by stacy

Sometimes I’m tempted to think so, that surface-y stuff is enough to get through the day, that looking the part or knowing the right things to say or having the right gear will carry the moment. But deep down, I know that it’s about CHARACTER. There have been lots of books and blog posts written about the importance of character. Sermons have been spoken, lectures have been levied…when it comes down to it, I want to surround myself with people of character.

Character is trustworthy. Character is genuine, more concerned with my good than personal gain. Character isn’t afraid to tell me that I have broccoli in my teeth, or that I need to apologize when I get out of line. Character is willing to hurt my feelings for the hope of my future, for the greater good. Character does the right thing because it’s the right thing, regardless of what it costs. Character speaks the truth in love. Character…

And at the end of the day, I want to be a man of character. It matters for me, and it matters for my family.

But it probably doesn’t hurt to be cute, either!

the best kind of meeting

Posted on April 24, 2013 by stacy

Kim called me several times today. Each time she found me in a meeting with one group or another. Tuesday is a meeting-heavy day if you’re part of Calvary’s staff, I suppose. And while I’m not really quick to self-identify, I’ve learned the value of facetime with quality people, and there are actually some meetings that I love.

Like tonight’s meeting with JT and Erin Bell.

JT and Erin are part of our volunteer staff at midtown. They work with the older elementary children on Sunday mornings, teaching as well as giving organizational leadership to our kids’ ministry. They are super-sharp leaders who love God, love kids, and love Calvary.

Kim and I met with them tonight to catch up, do a little planning and prep for midtown’s kids this summer, and to chat about a little trip that they’re taking this weekend…

to Ethiopia!

JT and Erin have been in the “holding pattern” that is adoption, specifically from Ethiopia. They’ve been waiting for years to bring home their two sons, and this is the week that it all comes together. They met the boys in February, which was AWESOME! But Sunday they’ll board a plane for their last trip as parents without kids. You can follow their blog here.

We intended to meet for about an hour. Either Kim or they must be long-winded, because we spent almost 3 hours with them! And I could have stayed longer. It is absolutely fun talking with people who have been wrecked by the gospel…

I can’t wait to hear their stories, to hold their boys, and to see how God uses this family to bless others. If you think of them, would you pray for JT and Erin, and for Carson and Noah.

Actually, now that I see it in writing, I’m thinking that this–parents meeting children–this is the best kind of meeting I can imagine.

When Experiencing God isn’t comfy

Posted on April 17, 2013 by stacy

Our church has been working through Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God. Pastor Dan’s been preaching up a storm and our lifegroups have been using the workbook to dig deeper, to dive in, to apply it to our lives.

That sounds great on the surface, and usually works for me until Wednesday.

Wednesday is the 3rd day of each unit (as I do them) and that’s generally the day that Blackaby takes off the gloves and applies truth to my head with all the finesse of a 2×4. That’s the day that he drops things on me like this:

If you have an obedience problem, you have a love problem.

If you have difficulty hearing God speak then you are in danger at the root of your relationship with God.

And this week’s gem: What you do after God speaks tells more about what you believe about God than what you believe about yourself.

We got into some good discussion tonight around the fact that I see tons of good/God stuff happening at Calvary, yet there aren’t many people making initial decisions to follow Jesus. There could be a lot of reasons behind that:
*maybe most of the people in town are already believers, followers of Jesus who are looking to be discipled.
*perhaps we’re sharing the gospel with people and they aren’t responding in faith.
*it could be that we aren’t (read that I’m not) doing a good job of telling the best news in the world to people in my town who definitely need to know.

What I do after God speaks tells what I believe about God. If God has placed me in this town to be a leader, a spiritual influence, a bringer of good news, then why am I not more actively telling folks I meet about the God who loves them.

I can hear my friends back in GA…that ain’t right, y’all.

Something’s gotta change. I’m pretty sure it’s me.

what i didn’t get to say at the dinner table

Posted on April 2, 2013 by stacy

When we do Highlight/Lowlight, it can be a little hectic. There are usually 9 of us around the table. The odds of something being spilled/launched/dropped/choked upon are fairly good. The chance of someone’s highlight or lowlight prompting a trip down a rabbit trail is fairly high.

Kim called an audible on the play tonight, asking the children to bless me by sharing something that they love or appreciate about me. We’ve done this from time to time around birthdays, but tonight got to me. Some of the things shared were simple or straightforward; others hit me in my heart. They touched on some of the things that God has been refining and transforming, affirming and building. That’s the kind of love that can fill my tank for a good while!

I made an attempt to thank the fam for their kind words, but I didn’t get to say what I wanted. So since this is my blog, here’s what I was thinking:

Charlie, I love your open-mouth kisses, your insatiable desire to be outside, your love for water, and the way you’re starting to mimic us when we’re teaching you new words.

Isaac, I love your laughter, the way you go after the top of Charlie’s head with your kisses, and your insane devotion to Duke basketball.

Lilly, I love your thoughtfulness, the way you seem to know exactly when Dad needs a hug, and your ability to shine (serve) even when you don’t have the spotlight.

Josie, I love your unbeatable spirit, the joy that you have in living, and your ability to see the good in everyone.

Annabelle, I love your willingness to do more than your share to keep our home clean, your desire to grow spiritually, and your courage to punch perfectionism in the face!

Sadie, I love your creativity in the kitchen, your willingness to take risks and try something new, and (secretly!) the fact that you still slip into “little kid voice” from time to time.

Levi, I love your courage to face your mistakes, the way you can make little kids feel like they’re the most special people on the planet, and your willingness to show me grace as I stumble along trying to figure out this dad-thing.

Kim…words really fall short here. You are my best friend, my encourager, the love of my life…I love the way you’ve helped me understand me, shown me what it means to make a family, prayed for and with me, allowed and encouraged me to lead…

I am a man most blessed.

find your balance…drumline

Posted on March 26, 2013 by stacy

My brother was a booty-kickin’ drummer in high school–I’m pretty sure he can still throw it down if he needs to! So I’ve always had a thing for drumlines. While I’m rhythmically challenged, I certainly enjoy those who can get their hands and feet all moving in different directions with skill. Like these guys:

Do you ever feel the tension of being obligated to do things you’re not very good at, which in turn takes time, energy, and attention away from the things that you feel like you do with skill?

I believe that there has to be a balance. It probably won’t be 50-50, but there ought to be some trade-off: things that you absolutely crush/things that you love/things that feed your soul vs things that are difficult/draining/demanding.

If you don’t ever get to the things that feed you, you’re probably headed to burnout. If you never get to the things that are difficult, you’re probably not growing.

If you don’t know what that balance is you should ask your friends. They’ll help you sort things out.

a tale of two cities

Posted on February 18, 2013 by stacy

This town has an identity complex. Because of Penn State football we’re the 3rd largest city in the state on home football weekends. That’s good and bad, I suppose. Because of Joe Paterno our town is a household name…for good and bad. We’re a town marked by historical contributions to science, art, literature, and sport. And we’re a town rocked by scandal, accusations of cover-up, and shame.

We’re a town with a split personality.

Last weekend thousands of Penn Staters drove a stake in the ground and gave people another reason to chant, “We are…” with all the gusto they can gust. Of course, I’m talking about THON. The largest student-run philanthropy in the world, the Penn State IFC/Panhellenic Dance Marathon has raised more than 100 million dollars since 1977 in their fight against pediatric cancer. This past weekend was another high-water mark, as the dancers tallied a whopping $12,374,034.46. (seriously, someone couldn’t find 54 cents in the couch cushions?) That’s good.

Yet there’s a big but coming…this same university, celebrated around the country today, will be home to a student-created holiday known as State Patty’s Day. It started in 2007 as a student protest to the University moving Spring Break to coincide with St. Patrick’s Day. Rumor has it that the University wanted to get students out of town to avoid all the drinking and associated problems. The students reacted by creating a drinking day of their own, which has grown to be a headache for law enforcement and university officials. The local police department reports that 66% of the arrests during the revelry aren’t even Penn State students; they’re folks who drive in to town for the party.

Any way you slice it, our town is living with a foot in both worlds. We’re a town filled with young men and women who are willing to sacrifice, to give generously, to rally around the needs of others. And we’re a town filled with selfish, broken people who are bouncing from party to party, looking for an escape and committed to “whatever feels good now.”

I am both proud and saddened by our town. I believe that God has a redemptive plan for our town, for the young men and women who walk the halls of PSU, the folks who call Happy Valley home. God is The Redeemer, and many of us are praying for our corporate identity to be redeemed.

last DR post (for now)

Posted on February 13, 2013 by stacy

As I look back on the past 14 years that I’ve been in Happy Valley and the 10 or so trips that I’ve taken to visit the boys (and girls) at the Rose of Sharon Orphanage, I have a few special memories.

Henry was wheelchair bound by the time I started going. He tried to act tough, but he was a tender-heart who loved to watch all the action. One day I got to help give him a shower. That meant that I held him up while we scrubbed him in the shower! I got soaked in the process, but seeing the trust in Henry’s face was worth the wetness…Henry has gone on to be with Jesus now, and his wheelchair days are done!

Bernardo is about the same age as Levi, and considers Levi his “brother from another mother.” His English is pretty good, and he’s about the most conversant ~~boy~~ young man around. We’ve spent hours talking about everything under the sun, and his picture is on the wall in our house.

Juan Ulysses is the most quiet, hard-to-make-smile kid I’ve met. He’s little for his age, and hardly ever says a word. But one dusty afternoon he spent hours beating the slop out of me in a game of marbles that took us all over the yard…

That day with Juan Ulysses is the day I think I figured out that I could love another child like he was my own. That’s a landmark day in my life. There are 4 relatively new members of Team Sublett who are reaping the benefit of that marble game.

I can hardly wait to get back to play some more marbles!

think vision not mission

Posted on February 8, 2013 by stacy

This is part 2 of a post that I started yesterday.

As a newbie on this trip to the exotic, beautiful Dominican Republic, I was amazed at all the things my eyes were taking in. I was stunned by the beauty of the country, and the people…oh my goodness. I didn’t speak much spanish then, but the smiles and eyes and hands…It didn’t take very long for the warmth of the Dominican Republic to make its way my heart.

We were working at a medical clinic and a nearby school that first year. My radar was up and running to see how we interacted with the locals, to see if what our leadership promised was actually going take place. Did we partner, build relationships, and invest in the local leadership, or was this going to be a “look how good we are!” kind of trip? I was concerned about the possibility of getting this wrong, of going with the wrong motives, of doing more harm than good…

It turns out that our leaders know exactly what they’re doing. We got connected with the folks at Solid Rock International (the medical clinic)–folks who were either locals or Americans who had moved down to the DR (what’s up Nik?!) to invest their lives in that little community. We have certainly made our fair share of mistakes over the years, but from the outset our intent was to come alongside the folks who are on the ground, the local who have a heart to see the Kingdom of God grow in their homeland.

Seth Barnes has written extensively about the good and bad of short term mission trips. Q Ideas posted a letter to a short-term missionary from Bob Lupton that echoes some of the same warnings regarding the negative side of STM. My lead pastor referenced this letter just yesterday in an email to our staff. Dan’s proposing that we re-think what we call our trips, changing the focus from what we do while we’re there to what happens in us as a result of our going. I don’t know if he was serious, but he tossed out the idea of calling our trips VISION TRIPS instead of mission trips. I could get behind that.

Over the years it has been interesting to see how many lives have been affected by this trip. There is no doubt that we’ve made a difference in the DR. Greater still is the difference the DR has made in us. Maybe it’s time to think about vision trips, not mission trips.