Stac’s Place

This year our kids only got a 2 day break, as opposed to the usual week-long hiatus that allowed families to travel to exotic locations, providing wonderful educational experiences and creating lasting memories for their families.  Tomorrow morning, bright and early, our kids will be back at the grind.

This morning, after she snagged a bite of my delicious omelet, Sadie announced that she would like breakfast for supper.  So Kim whipped up some tasty quiche (that’s plural, isn’t it?) for the fam.  Levi and Lilly were babysitting for the neighbors’ life group, which left the little girls home with me and Kim.  It’s sort of a Sublett family practice that in order to qualify for dessert, one must eat the meal that precedes said dessert.  I know that we’ve had quiche since coming home with Annabelle, and I would have sworn that she liked it the first go around.

Not tonight.

She ate all of the tofu and bean sprouts that Kim cooked up, but that one piece of chicken and cheese goodness sat on her plate, defying her, taunting her.  She sat there, staring at it, while we all finished and cleared the table.  I went downstairs to shower (2 days in a row of the afternoon jog!) while Annabelle tried to wait us out.  But we held our ground–no quiche means no dessert.  We made it clear that we weren’t angry or upset, but we felt like she’s like the quiche if she’d try a bite.  I even cut it in half and ate part of it for her (I’m like that–willing to sacrifice for my kids.)  A few minutes later Kim poked her head into my bathroom to tell me that Annabelle would not be enjoying the evening ice cream.  We aren’t sure if she tried it and couldn’t force it down or if she just slid it off the plate onto the placemat.  Either way, it wasn’t pretty.

Oh well, not every experience is going to be a trip to the Creamery.

We played a few more games of Skipbo (2 big wins for me–I haven’t mastered Pap George’s skill of cheating to lose yet), then I read to the girls and tucked them into bed.  I managed to hide in Sadie’s top bunk, which scared the bejeebies out of the girls!  I don’t know if it’s good to get them all riled up before bed, but it sure is fun.  Annabelle was extra huggy tonight.  She’s either learning my love language, or she’s scamming ways to stay up just a little bit longer.

OK, sweetie, just one more hug, then you’ve got to go to sleep.  Your spring break has come to a close…

Spring Break is a pretty interesting time of year in a college town.  It’s a little different with 45,000 students (plus most of the profs and other personnel) heading to other parts of the country/world.  Normally, I’d be in San Juan de la Maguana (Dominican Republic), hanging out with some of the best little guys and girls on the planet, and Kim and the kids would be visiting her sister.  But since we’ve only been back from China for a month, we decided to stay put and Spring Break at home.

The weather has cooperated.  The snow is melting off and the sun has been shining.  The girls got out to play on the trampoline the other day.  It was hilarious listening to them laughing and squealing as they rolled around on each other.  I snuck out to snap a few pics, and ended up with wet feet.  Crocs + snow/ice = wet socks.  Yes, Sadie’s in her pajamas.  Don’t ask–it’s spring break.  All the rules are out the window, I suppose.  Dasher has enjoyed sleeping in the sunshine out in the backyard.  I even went for a run this evening before supper.

Saturday night while Kim was busy working on our taxes (there’s a woman who knows how to party!) I took the little girls to see Princess and the Frog.  Again.  In their pajamas.  The dollar theater makes it pretty easy to see movies for the fam, and the re-fillable popcorn bucket is a hit with the girls.

I preached at two of the worship gatherings at Calvary, which was followed by our weekly meal at the Big Bowl Noodle House (hey Wade).  Late in the afternoon, our buddy Doug stopped by to take a look at our defunct clothes dryer.  That guy is such a giver, and always has great stories.  Everybody needs a Doug in their lives…Levi and Lilly both had friends sleep over last night (code for stay up way too late being goofy), so we expected a little crabbiness today.

Today was actually pretty good on the crabby-scale, though.  Kim planned a Sublett Family Scavenger Hunt for us.  The kids got a clue card that led us to the first destination:  The Penn State Ice Rink.  Annabelle was pretty excited to try it, but I don’t think the girl from South China is going to be competing in the winter olympics any time soon.  Levi and Lilly were both great helpers for her, both times that she circled the rink!  Sadie, on the other hand, is a little more adventurous.  She started off on the wall, and took a few spills, but by the end was zooming around the place.  She wants to go back again!

The next clue took us to the Penn State Creamery, home of some legendary Peachy Paterno ice cream.  Now that’s more to Annabelle’s liking.  I took a second picture of everyone enjoying the ice cream, but Levi is such a goober, I thought I’d share the one that really displays his true character.

From the creamery, we scooted over to the Nittany Lion Shrine.  I’m not wild about visiting shrines, but I think we’re ok here.  It’s hard to believe that this was our first visit to the ever-popular photo spot.  We’ve lived here 11 years, and haven’t taken the family photo there, until today.  Some nice man snapped our pic, then wished us a good visit.  I guess we looked like tourists.  He must not have noticed my Spikes hat or Levi’s Little Lion football hoodie…

We finished the day by teaching Annabelle to play Skipbo, which Sadie won handily.  Kim comes from a long line of Skipbo players, and we can’t play the game without thinking of Pap George.  He left quite a legacy for his family, spiritually and game-wise.  He regularly cheated–not like you’d cheat, though.  Pap would take extra cards into his pile so that the grandkids could win.  That’s pretty neat…

I love the fact that I married a fun wife.  Kim does a great job of crafting experiences and creating memories for our family.  I am a man most blessed…

As promised, Joyce came over tonight to hang out with Annabelle.  I don’t know if Annabelle was anxious about trying to call China again or not.  She didn’t seem nervous at supper.  She also didn’t like our noodles with white sauce.  Fortunately, Kim cooked up a batch of Annabelle-style ho fun (noodles).  That’s about all she ate, but she ate three helpings.

Tonight at supper, I think Annabelle was teasing Levi and Lilly.  She made a point of sharing that she and Sadie have no school tomorrow, while the big kids have to go another day before starting their spring break.  That was kind of fun to watch unfold!

side note–Annabelle’s student aide sent a note home today saying that the cheese ravioli and chef’s salad were not received with joy.  Oh well, she’s trying to get a taste for American food.

I took Annabelle with me when I drove Levi and Lilly to their rehearsal for the middle school musical.  They’ve got parts in the upcoming presentation of Meet Me in St. Louis. Levi has one of the leading guy roles, and Lil landed a part in the chorus.  We’re pretty pumped for them.  The schools do a great job with theater and arts.  If you want to go with us, it’s April 23-24.

As we made our way down the back road from Boalsburg to our house, Annabelle kept looking at the clock.  She knew that Joyce was arriving at 6:30, and she wasn’t sure where we were.  We hadn’t explored that road yet.  She kept asking if our house was on the next street!  When we finally hit College Ave, she exclaimed, “Oh!  OK–turn that way!” and pointed left.  She’s a pretty sharp cookie.

Kim and I left Sadie and Annabelle with Joyce, grabbed a load of laundry, and headed to the house next door.  We’re not giving our clothes away to the neighbors–Kim and Delma live next door to us, and our life group is meeting at their house while we get settled with Annabelle.  And our dryer broke this week (yay!)–no heat means that the clothes don’t get dry.  So we borrowed the neighbor’s dryer while our life group played some games tonight.

We couldn’t wait to hear how the phone call went.  They got through this time, and Annabelle got to talk to her teacher/house mom.  She told her that she loves it here, that she didn’t cry when we arrived, and that she likes her school.  I’m sure that there was more, but that’s not too shabby, is it?  Annabelle wanted to talk to her friends, but they were all in class.  There’s a 13 hour time difference between here and Guangzhou.  So we’ll figure out a time when her buddies will be available, and make another call.

I think it’s a good thing for her to be able to touch base with them.  It reinforces the hope that they’ll be placed in good homes, and lets her stay in touch with her roots.

I’ve had a couple of people express an interest in talking about adoption with us.  I’m shooting an email out tonight to one lady, and have plans to talk to a couple of other folks who are local.  If you want to chat, drop me a line.  We’d love to pray with you and talk through the things we’ve learned.  Let me know…

sorry for those of you who will see this twice.  I posted a note in FB because my blog wasn’t playing nice.  As soon as my FB note posted, the blog apologized, and we’re back in business…

Joyce came over to visit again tonight. We love having Annabelle’s Big Sisters show up, and Joyce has committed to stopping by a couple nights each week. She helps Annabelle with her homework, and helps us understand each other. Annabelle is beginning to understand that her Bigs are here to help bridge the gap, and is opening up, talking more about her feelings, asking questions, and trusting us with what’s going on inside her heart.

A lot of the talk tonight was about our adoption process. She looked stunned the other day when we told her that we’d been praying and waiting for 5 years to come to get her. She had some difficulty getting her head around why it took 5 years. (So do we, sweetheart, so do we.) She’s asked if we could ever go visit her friends in China. It’s only natural for her to miss her friends, right? Tonight as Sadie was cleaning out her backpack, some pictures fell out–pictures of Annabelle at her “going away” party with her friends at the orphanage. Annabelle grabbed the pictures and claimed them as her own! I don’t know if Annabelle grasps the concept of money just yet. We would love to visit China again, but it’s a majorly expensive trip. When we tried to explain about the cost, she said, “Daddy was spending a lot of money in Guangzhou!” Too funny!

Joyce and Annabelle tried to call the orphanage tonight, but couldn’t get the magic cell phone to work. They plan to try again tomorrow night. I think Kim’s going to send a care package to some of AB’s besties over there next week.

Kim also asked Annabelle what she thought about us adopting another child someday. AB immediately whipped out the pictures of her friends and started pointing out the ones we should go get! When Kim said that we were thinking of adopting from a different country, Annabelle told her that some foreign kids came to visit her home (orphanage, I guess) once, and they were very disruptive, didn’t behave, and left things all a mess. She’s pretty clear on her opinion of kids from other countries! We’ll have to keep praying about this, and see if God can change her mind, like he changed mine.

Kim has started to post pictures from our trip to China. If you haven’t friended her, you might want to. She’s the Kim Sublett with our family as her profile pic, just in case you weren’t clear on that.

Oh, how quickly she’s learning…our new daughter is quickly adapting to life in the Sublett house!

Today was a pretty sweet day all around.  Annabelle enjoyed her school lunch–a solid repast of green eggos and ham, some fruit, and milk.  I was home when the girls arrived from school, and she told me that lunch was good.  So that’s a minor victory.  We’ll see how the rest of the week progresses.  After squeaking out a wii tennis win (how does she beat me?) I helped Annabelle and Sadie work on their math homework.  They’re doing pretty well in school, and Annabelle is pretty bright, just like her mom!

I wanted the girls to get their homework done early because we were having another family join us for supper.  The Geigers are part of the Midtown Kids team, and Kim has been meeting with her team, getting to know them, talking about vision and strategy.  Kim is so good at leading teams–I learn from her all the time!

Matt and Karlyn are on staff with Disciplemakers at Penn State, and have 3 wonderful kids of their own.  While Kim and I talked about kids’ ministry, life groups, campus ministry, and other such interesting things, we could hear a steady buzz/roar downstairs.  Big Sister Joyce had come over to eat supper and “play” with Annabelle, and she was part of the crew downstairs.  Levi was the big hit of the night, as the 2 Geiger boys got to wrestle and maul a big kid!  Lydia loved playing dolls with the Sublett girls.

Annabelle had come upstairs at some point to see what time she was supposed to get ready for bed.  She offered 8:30; Kim countered with 8:00.  After a quick count of the votes, the Mom won.  Sort of.  As the adults talked in the living room, time passed more quickly than expected, and at 8:20, Joyce walked upstairs to tell us that she was leaving.  We couldn’t believe that it was 8:20 already.  Joyce said, “Yeah, Annabelle was watching the clock, and told me not to tell you that it was past her bedtime!”

Awesome!  I don’t know if she needed someone to teach her that or not, but there it is–her first “pull one over on mom and dad!”  Annabelle wins.

I went downstairs, loaded Annabelle on my back, then had Sadie crawl up on Annabelle’s back.  I carried both girls up 3 flights of stairs, got them to brush their teeth, read them a chapter in the book, then prayed over them.  When it came time to sing, Annabelle joined in with me and Sadie.  That was a sweet first!

They might have gotten to bed a little later than we planned, but it sure was a fun end to the day!

The Sublett family rolled out en masse to see Sadie play the final game of her basketball season.  I’m not sure if the motivation was solely to support Sadie, as there was the promised trip to Dairy Queen to follow the game!  Many thanks to Dan Workman of Workman Auto (not this Work Man) for sponsoring the team, and the ice cream.  It’s been fun to watch this team learn to play together.  We’ve noticed significant improvements from the start of the season.  This was the first year that Sadie played on 10′ rims, which proved to be her nemesis.  Sadie’s just not strong enough to get the ball to the hoop most of the time.  She didn’t score a basket during a game, but she loved playing.

Throwing up a prayer:  At one point in the game, Sadie got the ball near the free throw line.  Levi, in a moment of unbridled exuberance, shouted, “Shoot, Sadie!”  I was glad to see that she had the presence of mind to pass instead of shoot.  She did take a couple of shots, but came up just a little short.

Annabelle, however, scored this weekend!  She’s usually the first to remind us to pray at mealtime (and bedtime).  It’s been fun having her Big Sisters come eat with us, and we ask them to pray in Chinese before we eat.  Annabelle took the plunge Saturday night, and prayed for us!  She thanked Jesus for the food, mommy, daddy, and home.  I’ll be honest–I got a little choked up.  I am so thankful for our family, and the growing faith of our kids.  I’ll consider us to be successful parents if our kids choose to follow Jesus, whatever else may come!

I did a little praying myself over the weekend.  Saturday was State Patty’s Day.  It’s a student-organized day of drinking and debauchery.  A few years ago, Penn State moved their spring break to include St. Patrick’s Day, in an effort to cut down on the student drinking associated with that “holiday.”  Some of the more, um, ingenious students responded by creating State Patty’s Day.  The stores sell green PSU gear, the bars all got behind it, and the students drink all day.  This year, one of Calvary’s own (Dan Phillips) started a FB group calling for the end of the State Patty’s Day tradition.  The police and EMS had their hands full over the weekend, so a number of us decided to pray as we walked around downtown.  It was an eventful night, to say the least.  I was part of the crew that was out from midnight til about 2:30.  I’m still processing all the stuff I saw as we walked and prayed.  I don’t know what God is going to do in Happy Valley, but there are a number of us begging God for a breakthrough.  I believe there is Hope for Happy Valley!

Annabelle called home today from school.  She told her ESL teacher that she wants to try the school lunches for the rest of the week.  That’s a pretty significant thing for her.  When she got home, Kim spent some time showing her the options for lunch each day and helping her choose her menu.  I don’t know if she’ll enjoy the cheese ravioli, but we’re pretty stoked about her willingness to try new things.  I’ll let you know how she does…

What are you praying about?  Where are you seeing God answer prayers?  Share your stories!

Our family enjoyed another snow day in central PA.  No school for the kids today, which was a bummer for Annabelle.  I think her brother and sisters quite enjoy the days off, but Annabelle still has that “I like school” thing going on.

At some point in the day Levi bolted for Slab Cabin and a day/night at his buddy Cam’s house.  I hope they haven’t destroyed the place.  That meant that Kim and the girls got to spend some quality time sans boys.

I came home as Kim was heading out to run Lilly and Sadie to their music class.  Evangeline stopped over to spend a couple of hours with Annabelle.  They were wiing it up in the living room.  Annabelle is getting the hang of tennis, and Evangeline had her hands full!  It’s so much fun to listen to Annabelle talking with Evangeline.  When the other girls came back home, Evangeline went all crafty on them, and they made some sweet cards for people.  Annabelle wrote out a card for Joyce, and even let me take a peek.  I couldn’t read a word of it, since it’s in Chinese, but I gave her high marks for penmanship and creativity.

We invited Evangeline to stay for supper.  Much to Annabelle’s disappointment, we had spaghetti.  She pointed out that this is the second time we’ve tried to pass this meal off as noodles.  She still doesn’t like it, but I think it’s only a matter of time.  Just wait til I tell her she’s eating deer meat!  That should be hilarious!

Kim and I took the girls to the dollar theater to see Old Dogs tonight.  It’s a pretty corny and predictable movie, but we liked it.  Annabelle likes the movies, but it could be about the vat of popcorn and the drink big enough to bathe in.

Back at the ranch, all the girls piled into our bed and I read a couple of chapters in Sadie’s book.  It was fun seeing all the girls snuggled under blankets, legs all entwined and feet poking out of the covers.  They all looked peaceful and content.

That’s a pretty good night, even if spaghetti doesn’t count, don’t you think?

Our friend Joyce came over tonight.  Annabelle was dealing with some stuff tonight, so Kim called in her Big Sisters to come help sort things out.  It was a good call.  Annabelle needed to talk, and Joyce was able to help her process through some stuff that’s been on her heart.

When we bought Annabelle her first doll, back in China, we suggested that she choose an Asian Barbie.  Nothing doing–she went for the blond hair, blue eyed American model.  We thought it was a little strange, but figured that she knew what she wanted.  In fact, Annabelle didn’t seem to want anything that was Chinese looking; no Chinese dress, no Chinese dolls, no mementos.

I don’t know if it’s a normal part of the adoption/bonding/grieving process, but I think Annabelle was worried that we would be upset if she wanted to hold on to her Chinese roots.  So she chose western dolls, western clothes, western toys.

The truth is that we are in favor of her staying in touch with her roots, and want to support her in that.  We’re trying to make sure that she has people to talk with in Cantonese and Mandarin so that she doesn’t lose her language.  We want to reinforce her heritage as part of who she is.  She told Joyce that she didn’t want to offend us (my words, but her sentiment) by continuing to speak her native language.

We started to gain a little ground on a breakthrough the other day when Annabelle got to order her American Girl doll.  Sadie and Lilly have them, and Annabelle was saving her money to buy one of her own.  Kim steered her to choose one that looks like her, and it arrived yesterday.  Long dark hair, and dark eyes.

She was beaming!  She must have brushed and arranged that doll’s hair a thousand times before bed last night.

I find it interesting that she was concerned about offending us, while we were trying to support the very thing that worried her.  It must have created some tension in her today.  In fact, she didn’t want Joyce to even mention it to Kim.  I’m so glad that she was able to ask us if it was ok for her to be Chinese!

I think that’s part of what God wants me to learn, too.  Our past informs our present.  The things that have happened in our lives shape who we are.  Some of those things are good; some are bad.  There are helpful things, and things that hurt.  But everything is part of who we are.  Some of the things are worth holding on to, and some of the things need to be buried and forgotten.  But they all play a part in shaping who we are.

God wants to take all those things–the good as well as the bad–and transform them into something beautiful.  He’s able to take the most hurtful thing and redeem it!  How great is that?!

Annabelle is every bit our daughter, even though she has experiences and history that we don’t share.  And that’s not a bad thing.  It makes her unique and special, and is part of the big picture of who she is.  And God is using all those pieces to put together a beautiful mosaic called Annabelle!

I dropped my url into Google translator today and showed Annabelle how to read my blog in Chinese.  So if you’re reading this Annabelle,

Wednesdays are still a little weird for me.  Wednesday used to be my busiest day of the week (Sunday is close, though) due to the fact that it’s the night our middle school ministry (XStream) meets.  But since I’m not the youth pastor anymore, my Wednesdays are now free.  Most Wednesday afternoons I get that feeling like I’m supposed to be busy, supposed to be getting ready, supposed to be in GO mode.  It’s sort of like those phantom pains–you know, when someone loses an appendage (say, a finger) in an accident (a snowblower mishap, perhaps) and they still feel pain or itches in the missing body part…or so I hear.

Anyhoo, Wednesdays are still a little weird.  But the kids are loving XStream, Jeremiah is doing a great job, the team is kickin’, and that’s all good.  We tried to explain XStream to Annabelle tonight.  It didn’t seem to connect, so Kim decided to take Annabelle to get a real-time look.

First, they headed to Walmart (Annabelle needed more Lucky Charms).  I had a little fun helping Annabelle write out the shopping list.  She’s a pretty smart cookie.  They got to the church just as worship was ending.  Jeremiah had the kids come to the mic to pray for things that were on their hearts and minds, and Lilly was praying as they settled in.  Annabelle seemed to be paying attention, even though she didn’t fully understand what they were doing.

I was locked in a full-on battle to the death with Sadie when Kim and AB pulled into the driveway.  Wii tennis is Sadie’s game, and I had to stage a last set rally to maintain my winning streak.  I don’t believe in coddling kids–they learn the hard lessons of life through adversity and suffering.  And I don’t mind providing them with learning opportunities, at least as long as I can.  I hate to say it, but Sadie and AB are about the only ones in the house that I can still beat at video games…oh well.

We’ve been reading a book to the little girls at bedtime.  I like reading the book more than Kim does, I think.  I totally get into it.  I do different voices for each character, and the girls seem to enjoy it.  Then we pray and sing a song, which is quickly followed by a kiss on the forehead and an “I love you, goodnight.”  Sadie always says, “I love you too.”  Annabelle usually responds with, “goodnight” and a quick wave of her hand, dismissing me from the room.

But tonight, she gave me a little bit of something different:

Me:  (kiss) I love you, Annabelle, goodnight.

A:  Me too.

Then came the hand wave, telling me that I could leave the Princess’s room!

My heart was soaring!  I know she loves us, and that she didn’t have many (any?) men to relate to at her orphanage.  I’m not stressing about her saying any magic words; I don’t doubt that she loves me.  But I am patiently waiting for the day that she smooches me on her own, and tells me that she loves me.  Until then, I’ll keep kissing her on her head and telling her that I love her!

4 out of 5 dentists agree…Annabelle now likes the sweet crunchy seductress who masquerades as a leprechaun, bringing his magically delicious tooth decay…

I came downstairs to find Annabelle sitting in front of an empty bowl this morning.  The deed had been done.  And yes, it’s true, she had an appointment with Dr. Kelly (our kids’ dentist) this afternoon.

But this was a breakthrough of sorts.  We are seeing Annabelle’s trust in us developing.  As she samples our delectable cuisine, she is learning to try new things.  As she identifies tastes and textures that she likes, she’s learning to step out of what she’s always known, and learning to trust us in the process.  We continue to ask her to try new things; her courage and willingness is rewarded with an expanded palate.

Kim sent me a short text today to tell me that Sadie had walked Annabelle back to see Dr. Kelly.  A few minutes later I got another text telling me that things were a little hairy, Annabelle was crying as they scraped the tartar off her teeth (dang tartar sauce–who likes that stuff anyway?), and that they were giving her the gas!  Everything turned out ok, and Kim was able to reassure her (thanks Google translator) that this was the roughest dental appt that she should have to face.  I imagine that it would be pretty terrifying to have people poking and scraping around in my mouth if I had no real understanding of what was going on…

Sadie is such good little sister/big helper to Annabelle.  She loves her sister, and walks through just about every new experience with her.  She’s got a great understanding of what it means to be family.

After a fine supper (Annabelle cleaned out the gravy, even put it on some of the leftover chicken she chowed on!), Kim and the kids went down to Miss Kimmy’s to work on some of the songs that they need to learn for an upcoming audition.  Annabelle tagged along, and I think she’s going to be singing with them pretty soon.  She’s pretty cuddly with Levi, which is fun to see.  He’s a big lug of a snuggler, but she seems to like it when he cuddles up with her.

That’s a look of squealing joy, not abject terror.  I’m sure that you can tell the difference, right?!

I love the fact that Annabelle is learning to try new things, taking our suggestions, and willing to trust us.  We have so much that we want to share, so much that we want to teach her.  She hasn’t liked everything we’ve offered, and there have already been times when we’ve had to correct her behavior.  But I am excited that she’s learning to listen to us, to open up to us, and to trust us.

My buddy Paul suggested that we get a journal for her to track her first months in the family.  Kim was a step ahead of him, and Annabelle showed me her journal last night.  She was careful to explain that she was going to be writing in Chinese, and that her journal would be safely locked away.  I made sure that she knew that I didn’t want to snoop, but that I wanted her to have a record of the things that she was feeling and experiencing, so that she could look back and see how she’s grown over time.

Life is good..like gravy, carefully spooned onto the last bite of chicken.